Lets talk about the lovely (somewhat meaningful) relationships I’ve been in.. stick with me..

So not only have I not seen/grown up around a stable relationship, I’ve never been in a stable relationship…until 5 months ago!

I’m 23 years old and every relationship I’ve ever been in the guy has cheated and made me feel like a complete piece of shit.

I used to weigh 100 pounds throughout high school. I was always so tiny and yet I always had a problem with the way I looked. I thought I was too fat and that no one would like me. I even paid a personal trainer to help me. I wasn’t healthy at all. I’d only eat one small meal a day and starve myself. I was basically on a liquid diet. It got to the point where I was in the hospital because I was withering away to nothing.

#1

My first real relationship, I was 17 and he was the same age. I met him through a party for my sister. He was the cutest boy I’ve seen, well so I thought. I lost my virginity to him at 18 years old after we went camping with his family. We were together for 2 years. I got put on birth control in 2009 when I met him and after a year and a half he wanted me to stop it to get pregnant and I refused. He even proposed to me! Stupid little me said yes…then I found porn on his phone and another girls address in his GPS. I was so done. That was near christmas too. So that was done and over with.

2nd guy….wasn’t really a relationship. He was in a recovery house. He’d visit me everyday at my work and try to get me to go on a date with him so I did. I knew something was up when he refused to go to my graduation party..turns out he knew my step dad and is notorious for sleeping with females and leaving them..that was a short two months.

#2

Okay. So this one is interesting. I was friends with this girl in high school. Every time I hung out with her, her uncle was around. He’s like 9/10 years older than her and I. So I never did anything about it. When #2 screwed me over I randomly messaged him like I need to talk to you about whats going on. He was always there for me through out everything that happened with me. So we got to talking and we hung out down by the river. He hugged me and the next night he told me he wanted to kiss me. So we met up and we kissed. We were together daily from that point on for about 2 1/2 years. Then on his birthday he told me he was going out and he couldn’t see me. I wasn’t turning 21 till that november and his bday was a couple days after valentines day. There was a pic that popped up on Facebook of him kissing another girl.. So I walked away. Oh I forgot to mention that I spent a good 4-5 grand on him easily. I supported that loser while he lived with his parents.

after this, there were some meaningless hookups with a couple of guys. I was tired of being tied down to losers who did nothing for me. It was time that I found myself. I stayed single for a little over a year. Then….

#3

I got this job and met this really cool girl who became my best friend. She was engaged and pregnant and we worked together daily. We were playing around on tinder (dont judge me) and I found this guy who I thought was really attractive. Turns out she went to school with him so she hit him up on Facebook. Me and him started talking and hung out. Turned out he had a twin sister that lived with him. I spent every day and night there. I pretty much lived there with them. Then something didn’t seem too right.. I found out he was using again. Prescription pills. So one night I couldn’t find him. He took his car and disappeared. I was afraid that he had over dosed and died somewhere. I was trying to get ahold of his sister when this guy her (not so) bf picked up. So me and him talked for a few minutes and that was that. My bf ended up coming home high as shit. I was beyond worried about him. Come to find out he went over his ex’s house and had been seeing her the entire time we were together. Trying yet once again to get ahold of his sister I messaged that guy asking him to tell her to call me. He asked if everything was okay and when I told him what happened he asked me to come over his friends and hang out with them. So I did. I didn’t wanna be alone, I needed company.

#4

That night we hung out and the moment I saw him I knew I was in for an adventure…

We went back to his house and his sister and her friend were sitting out back so I got to talk to them. After they went to bed it was just him and I sitting out back at the table. I remember sitting there holding back tears. He grabbed my face and said please stop this. I can see how hurt you are and it’s killing me. Then he hugged me. As I pulled away.. well you can guess what happened next…our cheeks touched. Forehead to forehead. I could feel the spark. I lost my breath. I leaned in and just went for it. 20 seconds of pure courage..as I pulled away he says oh man I’m in deep shit.

Let me just say this. My ex’s sister treated him like complete and utter shit. Their relationship was beyond toxic. She did nothing for him and he did everything for her. Paid her bills and all while she went from job to job to job because she was more worried about getting high (like her twin brother) then keeping a job. Im just saying..

Since that night, July 16th 2015, we’ve been attached at the hip. He immediately broke it off with her and with me, he doesn’t have to pay for my shit. We’ve helped each other grow so much in these few months and its been so amazing. Every day he tells me how much he cares and appreciates me. It’s so nice to have someone I can fully trust and who wants a future with me.

I hope this wasn’t too confusing. And there were more relationships. These were just the main ones!